Learn from the ones we fear the most and learn from the ones we hate the most.

← old
im probably speaking bullshit
honestly hella ready for 2015. bring it on. can't wait to be done with these last two exams and get to spend all my time on love for a month. for some kind of reason fandoms are faced with tons of scrutiny. sometimes somehow people with vaginas expressing emotions is perceived as the most awful thing on earth. it's easy to look at crowds of screaming fans at concerts or whatever and pass them off as childish, insane, etc. but honestly what fandoms do is amazing? fandoms unite people all over the planet through love for something. call it cults, call it worship, whatever it is it is through love. i've met so many amazing people through fandom and i've experienced so much happiness thanks to fandom. i've spent a lot of time and money on it, much to the dismay of my mother who dismisses my interest as childish and silly, but i would do nothing differently. many argue fandoms are efforts wasted on people who won't remember your face or your name, or don't care about you but only the money. (that last statement would be ironic put in the context of the kpop industry.) but why is it so important to be remembered or acknowledged? i had a period where i ended up receiving certain acknowledgement from my idols and it was extremely thrilling, and while i certainly hope to be lucky for something like that to happen again, i am content with my idols not knowing who i am. i don't love them expecting to receive something back, i love them just because. that's all.

i feel nostalgic
mmm. okay so. last academic year was like running head first into a brick wall. repeatedly. then i was p much depressed throughout the summer and then school started and now everything is kinda too good to be true. even though life was super difficult this year it was a really good year and i feel like i found a good place and really i'm just so happy? i'm so so so happy and scared that something will punch me in the face and set me back to square one. but i'm intending to start 2015 out as nice as possible. i feel good and fluttery and sparkly and glittery. nice. anyhow this pretty much was the kick-off to my hell of an awesome year and it still makes me hyped as fuck. honestly this year rocked. thank you bangtan.

this person is life

layout by ellie. image by erika.